{"id":4091,"date":"2021-05-18T06:40:12","date_gmt":"2021-05-17T20:40:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/?p=4091"},"modified":"2022-03-28T10:19:43","modified_gmt":"2022-03-28T00:19:43","slug":"communication-is-key","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/communication-is-key\/","title":{"rendered":"Communication is Key"},"content":{"rendered":"

The first step to managing your child\u2019s behaviour is clear communication.<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Are you tired of having to repeat yourself over and over again when asking your children to do something? Do you feel like they never listen to you?<\/p>\n

The first step to managing your child\u2019s behaviour is clear communication. Often the problems we have with children has more to do with what we haven\u2019t said rather than what they haven\u2019t done.<\/p>\n

Follow these steps to clear communication and you will soon see a big difference<\/p>\n

Don’t say Don’t<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Saying \u201cdon\u2019t\u201d has the opposite effect of what you want. Instead of changing the behaviour, you reinforce it because you only focus on the problem behaviour. When you say \u201cDon\u2019t Run\u201d you\u2019re not saying what you want them to do instead. All your child can think about is running while trying to guess what you want them to do instead.<\/p>\n

Say the Action<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

What do you say instead of Don\u2019t? Say the action you want to see (or hear). Now you\u2019re using Active Language. Statements like Sit on a chair, Walk to the car, Say please, Hold my hand, Look both ways are all examples of Active Language. When you say the behaviour you want so see, your child who knows what to do, and how to do it. That way, they are more likely to behave the way you expect.<\/p>\n

Use 3-5 words<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Keep it simple. You are better off saying only 3-5 words at a time when telling children your expectations. When learning new information, we can only process between 3-5 blocks of information at a time. This is known as Cognitive Load. Overload your children with too many words, and they will soon forget what you said.<\/p>\n

Avoid Umbrella Statements<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Sometimes people make the mistake of using positive language in the affirming, feel good sense when setting expectations. Statements like Be\u00a0 Prepared, Be respectful,\u00a0 Be responsible appear to be positive, but can be just as confusing as negative statements starting with No or Don\u2019t\u00a0 – because they don\u2019t say what to do.\u00a0 Words like\u00a0ready,\u00a0 respectful\u00a0 and responsible\u00a0<\/b>describe what to\u00a0be<\/i>, not what to\u00a0do<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Umbrella statements are often used because they can cover a range of behaviours in one statement. This means they can have more than one interpretation. This can be confusing for your child because they may not always be sure of what they are expected to do.<\/p>\n

Say it Four Ways<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Once you say something, it is gone. It can\u2019t be reheard unless it is repeated or recorded and played back. Seeing a picture or reading words can be seen again, so it can stay in our memory for longer. If you want to stop repeating yourself, back up what you say with written words, pictures and gestures.<\/p>\n

Communication is Key<\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Remember these 5 steps to make sure your child understands what you mean<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Say the action you want to see<\/li>\n
  2. Don\u2019t say Don\u2019t<\/li>\n
  3. Avoid Umbrella Statements<\/li>\n
  4. Use 3-5 words<\/li>\n
  5. Say it 4 ways: spoken and written words with pictures and gestures<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Unlock the keys to clear communication<\/strong><\/a><\/h3>\n

    Learn the key skills of clear communication in my online course Great Expectations<\/a>.
    \n12 practical lessons with skills you can start using straight away<\/p>\n

    Click here to get started<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The first step to managing your child\u2019s behaviour is clear […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4089,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[58,197],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4091"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4091"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4091\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4869,"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4091\/revisions\/4869"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4089"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectivebehaviourmanagement.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}